(I have no idea what this even became.)
One evening, two adventurers were the sole guests of a roadside inn, each hailing from disparate lands and traveling in opposite directions. When suppertime came, they sat at the same table.
“Hello traveler,” said one, “I am Trinthin of the Democratic Amalanti Republic.”
“Greetings,” said the other, “and I am Menwilk of Te’aba.”
“I have heard of Te’aba in my travels,” said Trinthin. “I have even met a handful of your merchants and diplomats.”
“Yes,” said Menwilk, “we made quite a stir some years back.”
“Indeed, I remember.”
“Seventeen years ago, we abolished our democraticallly elected Legistlature and Executive in favor of a dictatorship, governed by the kingdom’s most tremendous idiot. Every eight years, the king abdicates the throne to the most feeble-minded citizen as determined by a series of tests and our universities’ most accomplished minds. Last year, we instated a barkeep that could not even
Trinthin nodded and sipped at his stew. Menwilk continued on.
“At the time of the transition, Te’aba was in dire straits, in both our internal and foreign affairs. And our democracy was a national joke. Our Executive at the time was corrupt and a dunderhead to boot, so one Ingthorp, a satirist, proposed replacing him with our literal biggest idiot. The idea caught fire and was implemented within a week. Our surrounding kingdoms and trade partners were very concerned when we abolished our democracy. Nearly two decades later, yes, we are still suffering. However, I can tell you one thing for sure–we’re no worse off than we would’ve been under your old broken democracies.”
Said Trinthin, “Yes. Your countrymen are quite cynical about their politics. It’s really quite tiresome.”
Sarah Palin returns to Alaska, and with her the term “Palinesque,” a neologism that has been terribly useful to me over the last few weeks. Behind her, she leaves a country basking in the awesomeness of their exciting new leader (whose character she repeatedly attempted to misconstrue in the most vile of fashions), a public that has a newfound (but surely temporary) punchline in her image as more revelations about her lack of preparedness and her early-development corruption come to light, and a defeated Republican party that must have awoken in its bed this morning feeling more than a little dirty and remorseful.
But what will Palin’s lasting contribution be to American culture? Surely, it was her valiant but failed effort to make it fashionable to end sentences with the word “also,” freed from its confined role of linking words and ideas.
Never forget.
Sarah Palin returns to Alaska, and with her the term “Palinesque,” a neologism that has been terribly useful to me over the last few weeks. Behind her, she leaves a country basking in the awesomeness of their exciting new leader (whose character she repeatedly attempted to misconstrue in the most vile of fashions), a public that has a newfound (but surely temporary) punchline in her image as more revelations about her lack of preparedness and her early-development corruption come to light, and a defeated Republican party that must have awoken in its bed this morning feeling more than a little dirty and remorseful.
But what will Palin’s lasting contribution be to American culture? Surely, it was her valiant but failed effort to make it fashionable to end sentences with the word “also,” freed from its confined role of linking words and ideas.
Never forget.
Congratulations, Mr. Obama. Congratulations, America.
Congratulations, Mr. Obama. Congratulations, America.