One evening, two adventurers were the sole guests of a roadside inn, each hailing from disparate lands and traveling in opposite directions. When suppertime came, they sat at the same table.
"Hello traveler," said one, "I am Trinthin of the Democratic Amalanti Republic."
"Greetings," said the other, "and I am Menwilk of Te'aba."
"I have heard of Te'aba in my travels," said Trinthin. "I have even met a handful of your merchants and diplomats."
"Yes," said Menwilk, "we made quite a stir some years back."
"Indeed, I remember."
"Seventeen years ago, we abolished our democraticallly elected Legistlature and Executive in favor of a dictatorship, governed by the kingdom's most tremendous idiot. Every eight years, the king abdicates the throne to the most feeble-minded citizen as determined by a series of tests and our universities' most accomplished minds. Last year, we instated a barkeep that could not even
Trinthin nodded and sipped at his stew. Menwilk continued on.
"At the time of the transition, Te'aba was in dire straits, in both our internal and foreign affairs. And our democracy was a national joke. Our Executive at the time was corrupt and a dunderhead to boot, so one Ingthorp, a satirist, proposed replacing him with our literal biggest idiot. The idea caught fire and was implemented within a week. Our surrounding kingdoms and trade partners were very concerned when we abolished our democracy. Nearly two decades later, yes, we are still suffering. However, I can tell you one thing for sure--we're no worse off than we would've been under your old broken democracies."
Said Trinthin, "Yes. Your countrymen are quite cynical about their politics. It's really quite tiresome."
The End of "Palinesque"
Wednesday, November 5, 2008
Sarah Palin returns to Alaska, and with her the term "Palinesque," a neologism that has been terribly useful to me over the last few weeks. Behind her, she leaves a country basking in the awesomeness of their exciting new leader (whose character she repeatedly attempted to misconstrue in the most vile of fashions), a public that has a newfound (but surely temporary) punchline in her image as more revelations about her lack of preparedness and her early-development corruption come to light, and a defeated Republican party that must have awoken in its bed this morning feeling more than a little dirty and remorseful.
But what will Palin's lasting contribution be to American culture? Surely, it was her valiant but failed effort to make it fashionable to end sentences with the word "also," freed from its confined role of linking words and ideas.
Walking to the polling place to vote for Barack Obama in the dawn's early light this first Tuesday in November, I found myself in remembrance of two events.
The first was two years ago, upon celebrating the Democratic victory in both the House and the Senate. Within days, if not hours, private speculation among my friends as to who would take a run at the White House in 2008 began to heat up, dreaming up Edwards vs. Romney, Clinton vs. Giuliani. Obviously, the remaining two years of a Bush administration could not pass soon enough. Had I a chance do it over again, I would have relished a few weeks free of political speculation. We've endured this presidential campaign for nearly two years now, and in those early days Obama looked like an outlier. A relatively new name on the scene, he didn't look like he could hold his own when pitted against the Clinton dynasty. Considering he was also a Black man, the conventional wisdom dictated that while America might have one yet, we weren't yet ready and it just wasn't going to happen; a line of thinking that seems to have stymied real environmental progress for the past three decades, as well.
Earlier this year, those of us who voted in the Democratic primary decided that, no, we can be progressive on these things when we damn well say we are, the alleged ladder of progress be damned! Either contender really would have presented us with a solid choice for a President and an opportunity to break ground for history, but we decided that Obama was the best foot to put forward. Watching his performance in both the primaries and the general campaign has solidified this choice as a prudent one. The jokers running McCain's schizophrenic campaign have only highlighted Obama's strengths: levelheadedness, thoughtfulness, and a demonstrated ability to listen sagely to his advisors and lead a massive operation.
It's hardly all about race, but race's significance can't be denied. On a personal note, I am reminded of one day in my sun-drenched childhood room in Kea'au, Hawai'i, a rather well-integrated corner of the very home state of Senator Obama, myself no more than seven years of age. The most recent issue of Kid City, an educational magazine had recently arrived, and I as eagerly reading it cover-to-cover. In the center of the magazine's layout was a multi-page comic commemorating Rosa Parks and the civil rights movement. The stories were familiar, but somehow the dates were not. Seeing the year printed next to a depiction of separate "White" and "Negro" drinking fountains threw me for a loop: segregation existed at the time my mother was my age. The recency winded me, and, troubled, I demanded of my mother what the hell all that was about? A startling few generations have passed between us and the assassination of Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr. At the time, the need for a civil rights movement seemed so archaic and distant that for me it occupied a space on the timeline roughly adjacent to George Washington and Jesus.
It was a feeling I'd experience again some years later when I learned of Japanese internment in the forties, or the staggeringly unamerican pursuit of so-called unamericans under the supervision of Joe McCarthy. Since its inception, America, a land of ideals, has betrayed them. These eighteen years ago, with friends of Asian, Hispanic, Polynesian, and all other kinds of descent (I was also bizarrely under the impression that my father actually was black), this jostled me. I neither cared about nor comprehended race at the time, and it took me many years of education to begin understand (and, sadly, even pick up some) the racial discord that still lingers in our country.
Barack Obama does not signify a tidy solution to racial harmony. Indeed, we still have a long way to go. Still, twelve hours from now, it seems very likely that we will be describing one President-Elect Obama. The prospect is exciting. Despite the fact that my votes today (admittedly, straight Democrat, though I refuse to hit the "straight Democrat" button) will not likely help out much of anybody, considering I live in the beautifully gerrymandered city of Salt Lake, there was a sense of history to watching the Diebold machine print up my ballot.
A real ad that just popped up from Google ads on my sidebar.
John maccain Join the RNC and Help Elect A Real Commander In Chief GOP.com/JohnMcCain08
The misspelling and non-capitalizaiton of either M or C in the header irritates me to no end. Is it wrong of me to read it as peddling and celebrating an imbecilic "just like you!" ignorance? Or am I just cranky this morning.
To counter all the McCain ads that keep appearing on my site (presumably because my name's John, I'm blogging about politics, and I make stupid jokes about preconditions), allow me to say:
Barack Obama, Joe Biden, Barack Obama, Change We Can Believe In, Democrats!, Michelle Obama, Barack Obama, Middle Class, Barack Obama, Senator Obama, Joseph Biden Jr., Barack Obama II, Bill & Hillary Clinton, OMG I have a crush on Michelle Obama, Obama-Biden '08!
Sorry for all the politics lately. But not much else is on my mind at present. I'll soon resume posting quirky pictures about office life and whatever else it is I usually get up to 'round here.
With less than a week to go in the 2008 United States presidential election (something that, like Christmas displays at department stores, seems to start earlier every season), it's astonishing to me that there are still voters who identify themselves as undecided. Anyone who has enough interest in politics to bother schlepping themselves to the polls on a cold Tuesday in November during business hours, one would suspect, would know enough about our two parties' candidates to make an informed decision after almost two years of relentless campaigning and two months of nonstop press coverage (Jesus could descend into Jerusalem tomorrow and the media wouldn't give it nearly as much coverage as competing Obama and McCain rallies--and quite frankly, I'd be far more interested in the election).
But somehow, there's still a percentage of the electorate that comes in undecided. These are people who apparently aren't hardcore ideologues (though I understand why a conservative might feel a bit lost in this race), single issue voters, or those that respond entirely on personality, as the difference between these candidates candidates in each of these realms is plain and pronounced. Take your Giant Douche and Turd Sandwich back to 2004 (or just get rid of them, really).
I don't know what these people are waiting for. I'm pretty confident that a number of those who claim to be undecided only do so because they haven't yet pulled the lever. I'm entirely confident that half the people who called into NPR's post-convention coverage claiming to be "undecideds" were sad, partisan shills (on both sides). But then there are these people.
Now would be a great time for a stealth third party to enter the scene under the banner of the Undecided Party (see the entire reason for this post, the logo posted below). They could run candidates who would truly give their constituents what they just might be looking for: someone like them, someone who could be bombarded with quality information and an almost unlimited amount of time to consider, only to finally make decisions based on which answer their hand is closest to or whatever.
And for those bitter people who have no faith in the judicial systems, another third party could enter christened the No Confidence Party.
Thank you, Colin Powell. Especially worthy of note is the following:
Well, the correct answer is, he is not a Muslim, he's a Christian. He's always been a Christian. But the really right answer is, what if he is? Is there something wrong with being a Muslim in this country? The answer's no, that's not America. Is there something wrong with some seven-year-old Muslim-American kid believing that he or she could be president? Yet, I have heard senior members of my own party drop the suggestion, "He's a Muslim and he might be associated terrorists." This is not the way we should be doing it in America.
Amen. Powell speaks to the America that I love and believe in. What's tragic is how rare a public statement like this is.
Last Friday, the Salt Lake Film Society and Salt Lake City Film Center held a screening of Boogie Man: The Lee Atwater Story at the Tower Theatre. The documentary itself was a pretty solid picture, being independently distributed by the director himself, Stefan Forbes. It did a lot to illuminate me on one of the most fascinatingly amoral figures in recent history, former RNC chairman and H.W. Bush campaign manger (and blues man), largely considered responsible for some of the dirtiest campaign tactics in American history; as well as color in the very vague picture I have in my mind of the presidential politics of my childhood.
After the film, there was a panel discussion. Forbes himself was there, as was former Western Dukakis campaign agent Pat Shea, 2007 Salt Lake City primary mayoral candidate (and recipient of my vote) Jenny Wilson, and most interestingly Senator Orrin Hatch's campaign manager, David Hansen. Despite the fact that Utah may be one of the most staunchly Republican states in the Union, its capitol city has a strong liberal contingent. So with a trio of Democrats on the stage and an even greater percentage likely in the audience, David Hansen can only be commended for coming into what was virtually guaranteed to be a hostile environment. And it was.
He took a couple hits from the crowd. Asked about some of the tactics employed in this and other campaigns, a very concerned woman stood up and in a damning tone, her voice wavering, begged Mr. Hansen for an answer as to how political strategists could be so plotting and calculating in their campaigns, specifically in reference to the campaign run against Dukakis (watching Shea's reactions to these questions was entertaining itself).
Hansen--maybe one of four people on Earth who could pull off the boisterous seafoam green sweater he was wearing--knew exactly what she was driving at. He smiled and initiated his reply: "Politics is a game. A--"
"It's not a game! It's our lives!" the questioner snapped back.
Part of the crowd was a little rowdy, chiming in with their support. Part of the crowd was like me, with a big grin on my face--of course politics is a game. Absurd, perverse, whatever. As important as politics may be, it is most certainly a game. Just as most everything we do in life is a game: work, love, friendships, finding parking. Politics is a game is life is politics.
Hansen kept his composure, waited for the reaction to subside, and finished his statement. He explained that, for example, Dukakis could very well have won if he had just played the gamem a bit better.
America, America, This Is You
Tuesday, October 14, 2008
A real ad found on the real Internet. Make sure your palm is clean before you plant your face in it.
Meanwhile, I've been miserably sick for the last two days, spending the majority of both resting pathetically on the ,couch either watching or thinking about watching Road to Bali. So I'm trying not to exert myself too much. Hence, this barely-trying update.
Oh, and I'm kind of marveling at Christopher Buckley throwing his hands up about the conservative movement in this country.
There are two reasons that I'm not updating this blog as much as I'd like.
1) Entrenched in post-production on Legends of Minigolf, I don't have much time for many other creative endeavors, especially with returning to work full time. We're going to be submitting our rough cut to Sundance on Monday (yes, four days from now Monday).
2) I've got election fever! I'm obsessed with the presidential election, and am having a hard time paying attention to much else.
Now, I'm not going to turn this into a political blog, and am going to try to keep my partisanship from showing too much. However, it's where my mind is these days, and I want to link to just a couple of things (so you don't have to expend three seconds of thought deducing it from those links, I'll go ahead and state that I'm a full-on Obama supporter) that I think could use some light.
Last night, one of the clients in my office referred to Obama as "the guy who's going to raise our taxes." That's the McCain party line, which while true for the few, is not true for the many. This is a tax calculator that shows the difference that you would pay in federal taxes under both McCain's and Obama's proposed plans. I know I and pretty much everyone I know (including this client) will be paying out less under Obama's plan.
And if you think Obama's economic plans are "just words" without substance and though, allow me to direct you to this New York Times article dated August 20, 2008 that reveals the consideration the man's put into his economic policy.
I can tolerate a difference of opinion on the issues, but let's make sure we're paying some sort of attention to them before we pick a side, instead of just repeating whichever side's talking points we prefer*.
So if you don't hear much from me until November 6th (give me at least one day to celebrate/weep), it's probably because I'm trying to get my film seen or am just spending all day reading Wonkette and The Swamp and listening to NPR.
_______________ * Yes, I know. I'm guilty of this from time to time.
John D. Moore
Filmmaker, writer, cartoonist, and designer living in Salt Lake City, Utah. Whatnot Studios is updated daily with cartoons, musings, stories, and project updates.
