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Bottomless Pit
Tuesday, March 24, 2009

We regret to inform you that you have fallen into a bottomless pit. The pit you are now falling through is indeed bottomless and you will continue to fall from now until eternity. The magical powers employed to create this human-engineered anomaly have endowed the shaft with the capability of sustaining the basic nutritional needs of its victims. You will not hunger or thirst, though you will age normally. Eventually, you will meet with a natural death, though your corpse will continue to fall until it finally wastes away.

As you continue to fall, you will find no objects or people here in this bottomless pit. There are no exits and there is no chance of escape, by your own hand or another's. The blackness you see around you will be your only company from here till the end of your life. Please, make your best effort to utilize this time to reflect on your life, and to enjoy the fall.


BEEP!

We regret to inform you that you have fallen into a bottomless pit. The pit you are now falling through is indeed--

"Oh God!" cried Herman as he continued his free fall through imperceptible space. "Will it never stop looping?!"

--eternity. The magical powers employed to create this human-engineered anomaly have endowed the shaft with the capability of sustaining the basic nutritional needs of its victims. You will not hunger or thirst, though you will age normally. Eventually, you will meet with a natural death, though your corpse will continue to fall until it finally wastes away.

As you continue to fall, you will find no objects or people here in this bottomless pit. There are no exits and there is no chance of escape, by your own hand or another's. The blackness you see around you will be your only company from here till the end of your life. Please, make your best effort to utilize this time to reflect on your life, and to enjoy the fall.


BEEP!

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Comments


This post is awesome! I'm going to see if I can get one for Christmas! Also: this. 


Even Hades has succumbed to imbecilic computer-age technological follies. This is the most horrible thing. 

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John D. Moore

Filmmaker, writer, cartoonist, and designer living in Salt Lake City, Utah. Whatnot Studios is updated daily with cartoons, musings, stories, and project updates.

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